Joining us in the studio today, the Croke Park studio for some unknown reason, are Colm O'Rourke, Joe Brolly and host Darragh Maloney. Pat Spillane is nowhere to be seen and for that we are all thankful.
Colm O'Rourke: Kerry have beaten Cork 11 or 12 times in a row in Killarney
Well apart from a good few draws along the way like.
The talk in the the studio puts heavy emphasis on 'a history of slaughter' with the odd blip here and there when Cork managed to catch Kerry napping.
To sum up: Kerry = ruthless
Cork = nice.
Brolly: Cork are the least rebellious rebels I have ever come across.
Down we go pitchside for an interview with Tomás Ó Sé and Alan Quirke.
Tomás seems to have returned the outfit he borrowed from Denis Taylor for last week's Sunday Game and looks like a fella who has just rolled out of bed after a solid feed of porter.
In true Kerryman fashion he talks up Cork but it's half-hearted enough and quite obvious that he doesn't believe it - I score it 2 out of 10 on the Yerrah-meter. He's been in Cork too long.
Back to the studio, and Darragh seems genuinely terrified whenever Brolly opens his mouth -Joe attempts to call Tomás on his plámásing but Maloney cuts him off, anticipating that he might say something interesting.
Colm: Eamonn Fitzmaurice seems to approach every game as a different game.
Now that's analysis!
Right, we're ready to go...Come on Cork, sew it into the fuckers.
Down we go to our commentary team of Ger Canning, and unrepentant Kerry fan Martin 'no malice whatsoever' Carney.
Carney: I expect Kerry to win, they have a relentless pursuit of perfection.
Today's referee is Paudie Hughes of Armagh, the man who gifted Kerry a draw in the 2010 Munster Final. Time to redeem yourself Paudie.
4 mins: Carney: Cork have started very impressively and are determined to strangle the Kerry defence by putting back numbers.
5 mins: Canning: I think both teams are just getting used to the refereeing here, what is allowed and what is not allowed.
7 mins Marc Ó Sé has started well on Colm O'Neill, winning the first couple of duels between the pair.
9 mins Goal for Cork! Yes boy! Brilliantly set up by Mark Collins and Donncha O'Connor, and fisted to the net by Colm O'Neill.
Score Cork 1-01 Kerry 0-0
12 mins Carney: The tactic of 3 Cork forwards inside is working.
Cork are playing 2 forwards inside, Martin.
Oh Jesus Christ! Suicidal stuff from Cork in front of their own goal. They seemed to have the situation under control after an aimless ball across by O'Donoghue was gathered by Stephen Cronin, but he inexplicably handpassed it to Shields in a terrible position. The ball broke to Donaghy who fired it it from close range.
Another simple goal to add to the collection for the lanky goal-hanger.
Fucking hell.
13 mins Donaghy chases the ref out the field complaining that his jersey is being tugged. Wanker.
Donaghy is in my top 5 all time hated Kerry players. It takes something special to make that list, I've given it plenty of thought over the years...
1. Darragh Ó Sé
2. Paul Galvin
3. Aidan O'Mahony
4. Kieran Donaghy
5. Declan O'Sullivan
16 mins Clothesline tackle by Johnny Buckley on Eoin Cadogan - a stonewall black card, no ifs, ands, buts or maybes.
Canning: And the colour of the card is going to be yellow...should be.
Carney: I don't think it was a deliberate pull down. It must be deliberate if you're going to get the black card.
Hughes, of course, flashes yellow. Bullshit.
19 mins Fine point by the man who should have just been black carded, Johnny Buckley. Rage building.
Score Kerry 1-03 Cork 1-02
22 mins Paul Kerrigan hauls down Steven O'Brien as he bears down on goal - as blatant a black card as Buckley's earlier offence, so I expect a yellow.
Black card.
Absolute rubbish. Absolute FUCKING RUBBISH.
Carney: That looks at least to be a black card.
At least?! What are you proposing Martin? A red card? Fuck off back to Mayo or Donegal or wherever you're from you incoherent bollocks.
24 mins Really selfish play by Brian Hurley as he takes on a shot with Barry O'Driscoll bursting past him on the overlap - O'Driscoll might have been in on goal there.
26 mins Bryan Sheehan fouls Donncha O'Connor then grabs him by the throat after the whistle is gone, right under the referee's nose.
Canning: Bryan Sheehan would want to be careful lashing out like that because if the referee took another view to it there could be cards issued.
Carney: (Silence)
No cards were of course issued.
28 mins Beautifully struck free kick by Sheehan sends Carney into orgasm.
+
=
31 mins 2 points in quick succession by BJ Keane, and Kerry lead by 3.
Canning: Suddenly Barry John Keane has pressed the acceleration button.
36 mins Fine score by Donncha O'Connor to end the half.
Halftime Score: Kerry 1-09 Cork 1-05
So the first half ends with Cork 4 points behind, facing into the wind in the second. They started really well but Kerry dominated the last 15 minutes, with Keane and O'Donoghue getting a lot of latitude close to goal. Cork's full forward line became a little isolated as the half wore on, and at the other end, while not doing very much, Donaghy caused panic around the goalmouth whenever the ball was delivered in.
Halftime Analysis
Colm: Star is lounging around with intent close to goal and Kerry have got a real grip on the game.
Brolly (describing Cork's goal) - it's the classic Chelsea goal.
Apart from all the handballs like.
Colm: We'll hear the roll of drums soon and the Gooch will appear.
Pass the sick bucket. Fuck the Gooch.
Second Half
Carney: Cork will have used the halftime break to regroup.
38 mins Goal for Cork! Get in! Lovely overlapping move set up by Paddy Kelly and Barry O'Driscoll and flicked to the net by Donncha O'Connor. Back in business!
40 mins Stephen Cronin hauled to the ground by O'Brien. Another blatant black card offence.
Don't do it to me Paudie, don't do it...
Yellow card. Jesus fucking Christ.
Even Carney thinks that was a black card for fuck's sake.
Carney: I felt that was a black card situation,
42 mins David Moran commits a third man tackle on Alan O'Connor, and finally a Kerryman is black carded. Hallelujah.
Canning: Suddenly Barry John Keane has pressed the acceleration button.
36 mins Fine score by Donncha O'Connor to end the half.
Halftime Score: Kerry 1-09 Cork 1-05
So the first half ends with Cork 4 points behind, facing into the wind in the second. They started really well but Kerry dominated the last 15 minutes, with Keane and O'Donoghue getting a lot of latitude close to goal. Cork's full forward line became a little isolated as the half wore on, and at the other end, while not doing very much, Donaghy caused panic around the goalmouth whenever the ball was delivered in.
Halftime Analysis
Colm: Star is lounging around with intent close to goal and Kerry have got a real grip on the game.
Brolly (describing Cork's goal) - it's the classic Chelsea goal.
Apart from all the handballs like.
Colm: We'll hear the roll of drums soon and the Gooch will appear.
Pass the sick bucket. Fuck the Gooch.
Second Half
Carney: Cork will have used the halftime break to regroup.
38 mins Goal for Cork! Get in! Lovely overlapping move set up by Paddy Kelly and Barry O'Driscoll and flicked to the net by Donncha O'Connor. Back in business!
40 mins Stephen Cronin hauled to the ground by O'Brien. Another blatant black card offence.
Don't do it to me Paudie, don't do it...
Yellow card. Jesus fucking Christ.
Even Carney thinks that was a black card for fuck's sake.
Carney: I felt that was a black card situation,
42 mins David Moran commits a third man tackle on Alan O'Connor, and finally a Kerryman is black carded. Hallelujah.
Carney: It was a body check on the ball, and a black card situation was justified.
43 mins Alan O'Connor is absolutely steamrolling Kerry around the middle of the field since halftime.
44 mins Great turn and score by Colm O'Neill and Cork lead!
Score Kerry 1-10 Cork 2-08
Sick to the gills now of hearing about the number of All-Ireland medals Kerry's bench has. Why don't they stick Mikey Sheehy and Bomber Liston on the bench altogether and they'll have about 50.
49 mins Eoin Cadogan hauled to the ground by Donaghy.
Carney: The word 'deliberate' is the key word in the whole thing of issuing a black card and I don't think that tackle was deliberate.
You have seen Donaghy play before Martin, haven't you?
Canning: The black card of course makes it very hard for the referee because of course he's the arbiter.
So, the referee is the referee...got it.
Anyway, of course wee Paudie flashes the yellow and on we go.
52 mins WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Mark Collins and James O'Donoghue both go for a breaking ball. Collins arrives first, gets two hands to the ball, and O'Donoghue crashes into him. Both players tumble to the ground.
In runs the ref and signals for a penalty.
Absolutely no way on Earth was that a foul.
Carney: Maybe on second viewing it was a penalty, but a tough call.
Fuck off Martin.
Paudie Hughes goes in to consult with his umpires, who I assume are going to tell him that he's absolutely mental and to award a free out instead.
Penalty stands and O'Donoghue converts it.
Even better, the penalty incident was set up by Donaghy, who should be sitting in the dugout after his earlier challenge on Cadogan.
Blood absolutely boiling now.
63 mins Cork lull Kerry to sleep with an interminably slow buildup, then suddenly Shields blows past Colm Cooper and feeds Barry O'Driscoll, who slots a low shot beyond Kealy in the Kerry goal.
Stick that up your black card situation Carney. Cork back in the lead.
Score Kerry 2-14 Cork 3-12
Carney: Shields just drifted imperceptively, nobody tagging him and next thing drove at them, took it on himself to do it and great score.
67 mins Alan O'Connor charges into Donncha Walsh and knocks him over.
Carney: I think it was more of a menacing gesture than a malicious one.
68 mins Great save by Ken O'Halloran from Geaney prevents a certain goal.
71 mins A 45 for Cork, this could seal the victory...It drops short and Kerry try to work the ball up the field.
72 mins Canning: We've played the 2 minutes of stoppage time but surely the referee will add enough time for Kerry to have another chance.
Sure why wouldn't he?
73 mins Fionn Fitzgerald from corner back kicks a great score to be fair. Tie game.
Full Time Score
Kerry 2-15 Cork 3-12
Carney: I think it's a shame in some ways to see Paudie Huhes getting an escort off the pitch.
Indeed Martin, a king's chair from Donaghy and Johnny Buckley might be more appropriate.
Absolute robbery.
I've seen Kerry get some breaks over the years, but that was up there with the worst.
Full time Analysis
Brolly: I cannot tell you how delighted I am to see Cork off their knees...the thing they showed today was courage, conspicuous courage.
Brolly then tries to address the injustice of the penalty: Cork suffered the affront of the penalty. Wee Paudie, in fairness to him, wouldn't know a penalty if it bit him in arse.
Darragh, fearing the worst, cuts across Brolly, and more or less refuses to let him talk about the penalty incident.
Brolly: You couldn't make it up. It's not the first time Paudie has done that.
Maloney constantly interrupts to make the point that he only had a split second to make up his mind on the incident.
Strange broadcasting this, refusing to let an analyst analyse the key incident in the game.
RTE are obviously terrified of what Brolly will say, but he is on the money here and effectively being censored by Maloney.
So there we have it. Robbed again in a Munster Final. Conceded a ridiculous goal in the first half. Numerous black card offences by Kerry players unpunished. One of the worst penalty decisions I have ever seen... and still Cork never gave in.
They battled back from every sucker punch, and that's what we all want to see from this Cork team - heart, character, the emergence of leaders from the shadows of the 2010 team.
Barry O'Driscoll exemplified Cork today - he ran hard, took the game to Kerry and put them on the back foot whenever he was on the ball.
Alan O'Connor was a wrecking ball in the middle third, laying waste to Kerry with hard tackling and high fielding.
Mark Collins was calm and assured in possession and covered more ground than anyone.
This was a great performance by Cork and they have to believe they can go to Killarney in two weeks and put those fuckers away.
Nothing would give me greater pleasure.
Slán,
43 mins Alan O'Connor is absolutely steamrolling Kerry around the middle of the field since halftime.
44 mins Great turn and score by Colm O'Neill and Cork lead!
Score Kerry 1-10 Cork 2-08
Sick to the gills now of hearing about the number of All-Ireland medals Kerry's bench has. Why don't they stick Mikey Sheehy and Bomber Liston on the bench altogether and they'll have about 50.
49 mins Eoin Cadogan hauled to the ground by Donaghy.
Carney: The word 'deliberate' is the key word in the whole thing of issuing a black card and I don't think that tackle was deliberate.
You have seen Donaghy play before Martin, haven't you?
Canning: The black card of course makes it very hard for the referee because of course he's the arbiter.
So, the referee is the referee...got it.
Anyway, of course wee Paudie flashes the yellow and on we go.
52 mins WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Mark Collins and James O'Donoghue both go for a breaking ball. Collins arrives first, gets two hands to the ball, and O'Donoghue crashes into him. Both players tumble to the ground.
In runs the ref and signals for a penalty.
Absolutely no way on Earth was that a foul.
Carney: Maybe on second viewing it was a penalty, but a tough call.
Fuck off Martin.
Paudie Hughes goes in to consult with his umpires, who I assume are going to tell him that he's absolutely mental and to award a free out instead.
Penalty stands and O'Donoghue converts it.
Even better, the penalty incident was set up by Donaghy, who should be sitting in the dugout after his earlier challenge on Cadogan.
Blood absolutely boiling now.
63 mins Cork lull Kerry to sleep with an interminably slow buildup, then suddenly Shields blows past Colm Cooper and feeds Barry O'Driscoll, who slots a low shot beyond Kealy in the Kerry goal.
Stick that up your black card situation Carney. Cork back in the lead.
Score Kerry 2-14 Cork 3-12
Carney: Shields just drifted imperceptively, nobody tagging him and next thing drove at them, took it on himself to do it and great score.
67 mins Alan O'Connor charges into Donncha Walsh and knocks him over.
Carney: I think it was more of a menacing gesture than a malicious one.
68 mins Great save by Ken O'Halloran from Geaney prevents a certain goal.
71 mins A 45 for Cork, this could seal the victory...It drops short and Kerry try to work the ball up the field.
72 mins Canning: We've played the 2 minutes of stoppage time but surely the referee will add enough time for Kerry to have another chance.
Sure why wouldn't he?
73 mins Fionn Fitzgerald from corner back kicks a great score to be fair. Tie game.
Full Time Score
Kerry 2-15 Cork 3-12
Carney: I think it's a shame in some ways to see Paudie Huhes getting an escort off the pitch.
Indeed Martin, a king's chair from Donaghy and Johnny Buckley might be more appropriate.
Absolute robbery.
I've seen Kerry get some breaks over the years, but that was up there with the worst.
Full time Analysis
Brolly: I cannot tell you how delighted I am to see Cork off their knees...the thing they showed today was courage, conspicuous courage.
Brolly then tries to address the injustice of the penalty: Cork suffered the affront of the penalty. Wee Paudie, in fairness to him, wouldn't know a penalty if it bit him in arse.
Darragh, fearing the worst, cuts across Brolly, and more or less refuses to let him talk about the penalty incident.
Brolly: You couldn't make it up. It's not the first time Paudie has done that.
Maloney constantly interrupts to make the point that he only had a split second to make up his mind on the incident.
Strange broadcasting this, refusing to let an analyst analyse the key incident in the game.
RTE are obviously terrified of what Brolly will say, but he is on the money here and effectively being censored by Maloney.
So there we have it. Robbed again in a Munster Final. Conceded a ridiculous goal in the first half. Numerous black card offences by Kerry players unpunished. One of the worst penalty decisions I have ever seen... and still Cork never gave in.
They battled back from every sucker punch, and that's what we all want to see from this Cork team - heart, character, the emergence of leaders from the shadows of the 2010 team.
Barry O'Driscoll exemplified Cork today - he ran hard, took the game to Kerry and put them on the back foot whenever he was on the ball.
Alan O'Connor was a wrecking ball in the middle third, laying waste to Kerry with hard tackling and high fielding.
Mark Collins was calm and assured in possession and covered more ground than anyone.
This was a great performance by Cork and they have to believe they can go to Killarney in two weeks and put those fuckers away.
Nothing would give me greater pleasure.
Slán,
